


Through the storm and through the tears, I know we can survive

by Elton_Hercules_John



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Coming Out, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Surgery, Trans Character, Trans Eggsy Unwin, Trans Harry, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-17
Updated: 2019-08-17
Packaged: 2020-09-06 08:01:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20288119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elton_Hercules_John/pseuds/Elton_Hercules_John
Summary: "Fuck off, it ain't a joke. And it you're gonna treat it like a joke, then we can't work together, alright?!" Eggsy was still defensive. His shoulders were still squared, and he had risen to his feet, trying to seem more threatening. "I ain't workin' with no one that's gonna take the piss out of me for who I am, yeah?"Eggsy comes out as trans to Harry. Harry's shocked, and Eggsy gets defensive about it, so Harry comes out to Eggsy in return.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> If you wanna message me about my fics, I'm on tumblr as @elton-hercules-john ❤️

They had been sitting in The Black Prince when Eggsy told him. 

Both back from a mission, both dressed in casuals. Well, as casual as Harry could go. Harry had a pint of stout, while Eggsy was on the cider. The two were aching and needed their beds, but Eggsy had coaxed Harry into getting a pint before that. 

Eggsy stared down at his Strongbow, then looked up at Harry. "My back fuckin' aches after that job." 

Harry chuckled, and it was like a floodgate had been opened, his shoulders slumping as he relaxed. "Yes, I probably shouldn't be drinking with such a bad head injury, but you said you were buying…" 

Eggsy grinned, taking a swig out of his bottle. He cleared his throat, shifted in his seat, then stared at Harry. "I, uh… I've been hidin' something that you should really know, Harry." 

Harry sighed heavily then removed his glasses, placing them face down on the table in case Merlin was watching on. "Now is probably not the best time to tell me that you are a double agent, Eggsy. Could it possibly wait until the morning?" He took a sip of his drink, then stared at Eggsy, trying to figure out what emotions his face was conveying. 

"No, no! It ain't that, it really ain't!" Eggsy said suddenly, standing up so quickly to defend himself that his knee cracked off the underside of the table, making him groan in pain. "Shit… I ain't a double agent, Harry. Promise." 

Harry smiled, deciding Eggsy's word was good enough proof for the moment. He was too tired to interrogate any further. "Well, what is it, then? What is your secret? Do you have a child? We have procedures in place, if so. For protection and payment of child support." 

"Ain't that, either. If you'd just let me talk-" 

"Is it terminal, Eggsy?" 

"What terminal???" 

"Your illness. You've brought me here to tell me that you're very slowly dying." 

"No! Let me fuckin' speak!" 

Harry smirked. Eggsy was so easy to wind up. 

"One more guess?" 

"Fine. Fine. But lemme tell you after." 

"Hm… You've murdered someone out of work and you need Kingsman help to hide the body. Where are they? I'll send a cleanup team to them ASAP." 

"I'm trans, Harry."

Harry's smile fell. He looked around, took a long drink of his stout, then cleared his throat. "You are?" 

"Yeah. Yeah, I am. You got a problem with that, hm?" It was out now. He couldn't just take back the fact that he had came out to Harry. He squared his shoulders, glaring at him, at his reaction. 

"Stand down, Eggsy. I'm not offended." Harry muttered. "It was just quite a shock, if anything. This isn't a joke, is it?" 

"Fuck off, it ain't a joke. And it you're gonna treat it like a joke, then we can't work together, alright?!" Eggsy was still defensive. His shoulders were still squared, and he had risen to his feet, trying to seem more threatening. "I ain't workin' with no one that's gonna take the piss out of me for who I am, yeah?" 

"Eggsy, for God's sake! I'm in the same bloody boat as you!" 

Now it was Eggsy's turn to be shocked, nearly choking on his drink.

"You what?"

"I started transitioning in my early twenties, Eggsy. I started testosterone aged twenty three. I had a mastectomy aged twenty five. Reassignment aged twenty seven. Various procedures along the way, such as rhinoplasty, botox, body contouring… Though, I must say that the botox has started to wear off." Harry chuckled, rubbing his hand over his slightly wrinkled face. 

Eggsy stared at him in shocked silence. How the fuck hadn't he noticed? Christ. Harry took a steady sip, then stared back. "Well?"

"Well what?" 

"What do you think? Do you think I will make fun of you now?" Harry placed down his empty glass, then ran his fingertip around the rim. 

"Well, course not. Not now I know that." Eggsy sounded genuinely surprised. "Fuck, Harry… I never would've guessed…" 

"It's a very well kept secret, Eggsy. I believe only Merlin and Morgana know. Well, Mr Pickle too, but he didn't have a choice. He lived with me." 

"Yeah… Yeah, christ… Thanks for tellin' me." Eggsy downed the rest of his drink, needing that sour taste to ground himself. "Unrelated, you got a light I could borrow?" 

"Oh, Eggsy. Don't tell me that you're smoking again…" Harry looked genuinely upset, frowning at him. However, he takes out a golden zippo and hands it to Eggsy. 

"I ain't doing it proper… Just need a fag right now. Just the one, yeah?" Eggsy pulls out the packet from his back pocket, a clear sign that he has been smoking properly again. He must have been stressed leading up to the pub meeting. "Comin' out, Harry?" 

Harry nodded, though he didn't take a cigarette. He doesn't like the taste of them, preferring a cigar in his office after a particularly bad mission. He followed Eggsy outside, watching as he lit his cigarette, inhaled, then exhaled the smoke out his nose. 

"Are you on testosterone, Eggsy?" 

"Uh… Yeah. Been on it about a year, maybe? Took way too fuckin' long, had to keep on going back to the psychiatrist and stuff. They wanted to make sure I actual wanted to be a man. Course I wanted to be a fuckin' man! Why else would I stab myself in the thigh with a fuckin' needle full of T every week for my life?!" 

Harry stayed quiet through Eggsy's rant, only giving a solemn nod in agreement. "I understand, Eggsy. It was incredibly hard to acquire testosterone when I first started on it, but Merlin twisted some arms for me. He was the first person that I came out to-" 

"You've only came out to four people, though. And one of them was your dog." 

"And Mr Pickle was a very good person to confide in. I don't see your point." Harry smiled down at him, a twinkle in his eyes. "Have you came out to anyone else?" 

"Jamal knows. He's not, like… Transphobic or anything, he just don't know what's goin' on. I've gotta explain a lot of shit to him." Eggsy shrugged, taking another drag of his cigarette, muffling a cough. "S'ppose JB knows, since you counted your dog. And Rox knows. She took it really well." 

"I should hope so. She's a lovely person. I would trust her with my deepest, darkest secrets." Harry hummed. "I should probably tell her." 

"Yeah…" Having reached the end of his cigarette, Eggsy stubbed it out on the floor. He looked up at Harry, contemplating another cigarette. Eventually, he decided against it, knowing Harry would be upset. 

"Would you ever go through with any reconstructive surgeries? Mastectomy, metoidoplasty, phalloplasty? I know some people just want top surgery and nothing more." 

"Eh… Yeah. Yeah, I'm savin' up for my top surgery. NHS won't do it so I'm havin' to go private. Fuckers." Eggsy scuffed the ground with his trainers, and kicked a pebble around. "Said it's an 'aesthetic procedure' and I don't really need it, apparently. Just the same as some people not needin' boob jobs, 'pparently. So, I'm gonna be £8,000 out of pocket for two nights in the hospital to take off my boobs." 

"Go through Kingsman, then. They'll pay for it all." Harry smiled down at Eggsy. "That's what I did all those years ago. Just have Merlin do the paperwork, he puts it down as just a general 'surgery expenses', so you're not outed to anyone who reads the paperwork. Plus, the surgery would be done at HQ. It means I can come check on you during your recovery. The rooms also have wonderful views onto the grounds."

"I can do that????" Eggsy sounded genuinely shocked. He had never heard of that before. He thought Morgana was only trained in battle injuries, not like… Actual surgery. "Fuck yeah, I'll do that." 

"Brilliant. I'll talk to Merlin about having that arranged, then." Harry paused. "Would you mind me telling Merlin?" 

"Lemme do it myself, yeah? I'll talk about gettin' the work done then, as well." Eggsy smiled down at Harry, then leaned against him a little, the drink making him feel nice and warm. "Thanks for, uh… Comin' out to me, yeah? Feels nice to know there's someone I can talk to 'bout all this. Someone who knows what it's like to have all this shit done…" 

"I believe the same commendations are in order for you, Eggsy. It feels nice knowing that you trust me enough to tell me that you are trans." Harry reached down, giving his hand a soft squeeze in solidarity. "I will be beside you every step of the way, Eggsy. I'll be there when you go to sleep before surgeries, and when you wake afterwards. I'll be there to administer your testosterone if you ever need it. I'll be there when you need a shoulder to cry on." 

Eggsy smiled up at Harry, and it's only then that Harry saw tears prickling in Eggsy's eyes. "Thanks, Harry… Really, uh… Really means a lot to me. Yeah. Thanks." He coughed and cleared his throat, trying to hide the emotional crack of his voice. "Yeah… Thanks." He knew he sounded like an idiot, but if he said any more, he'd just end up a blubbering mess. 

"Thanks." 

"You're very welcome, Eggsy. Any time." 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you wanna message me about my fics, I'm on tumblr as @elton-hercules-john ❤️

A few months later, Eggsy's top surgery was scheduled. Harry, being Arthur, was glad to give Eggsy extra time off for it. He even took a day off for it on the day of the surgery. 

Currently, he was sitting in an empty hospital room. He had been waiting two and a half hours for Eggsy to get out of surgery, but there was no sign of him yet. Even Merlin was there, sat in silence, tapping away on his tablet. Harry broke the silence. 

"Merlin?" 

"Mm." 

"Do you think he's alright in there? I hope there isn't any complications." 

"He'll be fine, Harry. Don't you worry. Your surgery went fine." 

"He's more lithe than I was, Hamish." Harry stood, then started to pace. "God, I was out earlier than this…" 

"You're windin' yourself up. Sit down, I've called for some tea for you." 

Harry refused sit, then ignored his tea when it came. After three hours, even Merlin was getting a little restless. He stood, then grabbed Harry's arm and pulled him back into his seat, stopping the pacing. "Bloody calm it."

"He should definitely be out by now." 

Before Merlin could reply, the door of the private room opened. Eggsy was wheeled in on a hospital bed, surrounded by nurses. Harry stood and peered over at Eggsy's still-unconscious pale face. "How is he doing, Morgana?" 

"He's not out of the woods yet. We planned for keyhole, but we realised that once we got started that we'd have to change to a double incision surgery with nipple grafts. His chest skin wasn't tight enough for keyhole surgery." Morgana looked up at the heart monitor, then made a note of it on her chart. 

"What painkillers is he on?" Harry tried to look for the name of one on the various bags of fluid attached to Eggsy. "Any opiates?" 

"Morphine. He can control how much he gets through this infusion pump." Morgana nods at the box beside Eggsy's bed. "He'll be completely out of it when he wakes up. Keep him nice and calm. If he starts panicking, press the call button. We wouldn't want his stitches ripping or a fluid line getting pulled out." 

"Of course not." Harry reached down, then held Eggsy's hand. "I'll take good care of him." 

"I expect nothing less." Morgana smiled, then herded her nurses out, leaving Harry, Eggsy, and Merlin on their own. 

Harry looked over Eggsy, his eyes drifting over his whole body, then settling on his bare, bandaged chest. "He looks… Good." 

"You can't even see it, Harry." Merlin sighed, not even looking up from his tablet. He had seen Harry in the same situation thirty years ago, he knew what it looked like. "He's probably still swollen under those bandages." 

"Mh." Harry made a small sound of acknowledgement, then stroked his hand over Eggsy's forehead, pressing back his hair. "I hope he doesn't react badly to the painkillers…"

"You never took them well, did you?" Merlin finally looked up from his tablet, placing it down on the bedside table. "Actually, I remember having to hold the bucket while you spewed." 

"Yes, well- well, thank you for that." Harry's cheeks had gone a soft pink from embarrassment, his eyes never leaving Eggsy's face. "I just hope that he doesn't meet the same fate." 

"Time will tell." 

\----------

Almost half an hour after initially entering the room, Eggsy had finally began to wake. It was barely noticeable at first; his eyelids flickered slightly, then he had let out a small groan, getting the attention of both Harry and Merlin. His fingers twitched where they were resting at his side, and finally, his eyes cracked open. 

"Hmfff…" 

"Eggsy?" Harry gripped his hand tight, then pressed a kiss to it. "Eggsy, can you hear me? Do you feel quite alright?" 

Eggsy brought his hand up to rub his face, groaning quietly all the while. He had no idea where the hell he was, and he felt like he had the worst hangover in the world. His head pounded, the echoed voices he heard were too loud, the lights in the room were blindingly bright, and his blankets felt too rough against his bare skin. "Fuuuuuuckin' helllll…"

"He seems alright, Harry. That does sound like an Eggsy line." Merlin smirked up at Harry, but Harry didn't see the humour in it. "He'll be fine. You need to back off and let him wake up naturally." 

Harry tried to back off. Honestly, he did. But as soon as Eggsy tried to bring his hands up to scrub at his face, Harry pulled them back down. "Don't do that, Eggsy. You'll pull at your stitches." 

Eggsy's eyes rolled back in his head, and Harry honestly couldn't tell if it was intentional or not. Either way, he groaned at Harry's chiding. "M'fuckin'... Sleepy eyes…" 

Harry tutted, but took out his pocket handkerchief, gently wiping his eyes, getting rid of all the sleep in them. "There. Is that better?" 

"Hmff."

"Eggsy." 

"M'blanket… Sharp…" 

Harry frowned, looking over Eggsy's blanket, making sure it hadn't caught on his skin or bandages anywhere. "I'm afraid I don't understand, Eggsy. You'll have to explain." 

But Eggsy couldn't. He had just woken up from one of the most major surgeries of his life, and he was off his tits on morphine. He opened his eyes again, then hissed at the brightness of the room. "Loud room… Blankets… Sore… Hmmmf… Whiiiite…" 

"I think he wants the lights off, Harry." Merlin finally contributed. "He says the room is too loud. Look, he can't even open his eyes properly." Merlin tapped on his tablet for a moment, then the room lights dimmed, leaving just enough light for everyone to see what they were doing. "Is that better, Eggsy?" 

"Yeahhh…" Eggsy's eyes finally stayed open for more than a few seconds. He pushed his blankets off of himself, but Harry was quick to cover him up again. 

"Have some decency, Eggsy."

"Nooo… Blankets… Sooore…"

"Pardon?" Harry frowned, feeling over the blankets. They didn't feel sharp or scratchy or anything. They actually felt quite nice.

"Hurtin' me…" Eggsy whimpered it out, followed by a pout. He looked almost close to tears at such a tiny thing. "Make it stopppp…"

Merlin grabbed the blanket with a sigh, whipping it off Eggsy. "I'll go get him something with a higher thread count. Picky wee bugger." Merlin left in search of some new sheets, leaving Harry and Eggsy on their own. 

"Well? How are you feeling?" Harry stroked his hand through Eggsy's hair, but quickly removed it when Eggsy grunted a "Don' touch me…" 

"Floaty… C'n you whisper??? Y'too loud…" Eggsy wriggled on the bed, happy to be in just his underwear now that his scratchy blanket was gone. "Toooooo loooud…" 

"My apologies. Stop wriggling." 

"Why?" Eggsy looked up at him with a cheeky grin, and that was the first sign of him coming back to himself. "Wanna wriggle. Feel so freeeee… Jus' in my paaaaants… Wooo…"

Harry couldn't help but quietly laugh at that, which only spurred Eggsy on. He continued to grin at Harry, wriggling until he tweaked a stitch, making him yelp in pain and stop his wriggle. 

"I told you to stop wriggling, Eggsy. It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt." 

"S'all shits an' giggles… Till… Till someone giggles an' shits…" Eggsy's own joke set him off again, making him cackle. "I fuckin' love that line…"

Harry does smile at that, and he wanted nothing more than to stroke Eggsy's cheek, but he respected the fact that he didn't want to be touched. Eggsy just giggled hysterically up at him, still laughing at his joke. 

Eventually, Merlin returned, carrying the softest blankets he could find. "Here you are…" He didn't even blink at Eggsy sprawled on the bed in only his pants. He opened out the blankets and placed them over Eggsy, waiting a moment for him to complain. "Is that alright for you, hm? Not too hard? Not too scratchy?" 

"S'good…" Eggsy hummed, content, while Harry wrapped him up in the blankets like a burrito. Mostly to protect Eggsy from moving around too much, Harry told himself. "Comfy. Waaarm." 

"Not too warm, I hope?" 

"No. Good warm… Good warm… Good… Warm…" Eggsy's eyes opened and closed slowly. It was clear he was getting rather sleepy. "Mmm…" 

"Eggsy, are you tired?" Harry murmured, to which Eggsy shook his head. 

"M'not. M'not sleepy." 

"Not even the slightest?" 

Eggsy shook his head again. 

"Hm… I think you should try to have a nap, Eggsy." 

"Nnnno." 

"Eggsy." 

Harry sighed in exasperation. Eggsy chose to be as childish as possible at the wrong times. Eggsy stared up at Harry, testing him, trying to muffle a little yawn all the while. "Ain't tired…" 

"Of course you're not." Harry sat down on the edge of the bed and peered down at Eggsy. "How about we strike a deal, hm? If you go for a nap, I'll ensure that you have a pudding cup waiting for you when you wake up." 

Eggsy went quiet, it was clear that he was considering it. "... What flavour?" 

"Well. What flavour do you want?" 

"Y'got any strawberry?"

"Strawberry, vanilla, or chocolate, I believe." 

Having to make that decision was frying Eggsy's drug-filled brain. He groaned, hitting his head back against the pillow. "Shit… Dunno… Mmfff…" 

"Shall I just order all three and you can try them all when you wake up?"

Eggsy nodded pitifully, pouting at Harry and Merlin. "Yeahhhh…" 

"Well, I've fulfilled my part of the deal. You need to go for a nap, now." Harry stroked his cheek gently, and Eggsy ever so slightly leaned into the touch. "I promise you, we'll both be here when you wake."

"Promise?" 

"We promise." 

"Merlin…" Eggsy mumbling his name made him look up. "Y'gotta… Hm. Gotta… Pinky promise, yeah?" 

"What?" 

Eggsy held out his pinky finger silently, refusing to explain it. He grumbled when Merlin just stared at his hand. 

"Hamish… Hamish, just… Just hold his pinky finger in yours and promise that you'll be there when he wakes up…" Harry let out an exasperated sigh, rubbing his face. "Just do it, Hamish. He won't sleep if you don't." 

Merlin did as he was told, and Eggsy let out a dozy grin when they sealed their promise. "Fanks." 

"You're… Welcome, Eggsy." 

"Better have my pudding cups when I wake up."

Harry nodded, muttering about the pudding cups, all while stroking his hand slowly through Eggsy's hair until he eventually fell asleep, going back to dreaming about JB and Harry and other nice things. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you wanna message me about my fics, I'm on tumblr as @elton-hercules-john ❤️
> 
> Kudos and comments are greatly appreciated!!!

**Author's Note:**

> If you wanna message me about my fics, I'm on tumblr as @elton-hercules-john ❤️


End file.
